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"Tristan
is my motivation, my muse, my drive to excel.
Because of her I
was determined to return to the halogen halls of academia. "
---Michele
Johnson
"I'll
always remember that fork in the road. I never want to
forget it. It is my constant reminder of how far I've come
and what I can accomplish if I pave my road with good intentions."
---Michele
Johnson
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| Fork in the Road: |
College and My Beloved Daughter
by Michele Johnson |
I'll never forget the
fork in the road. There was this defining moment
that I was at the crossroads. One path was a forked street
with memories. This was my past. The other forked
street was lined with dreams. This was my future.
And here was I, the pregnant present, at the fork in the road.
Neither looked too promising. Two failed marriages, no
degree nor any direction as how to proceed with the future.
In addition, the father of my daughter disappeared.
It could have been my father
calling me a loser one night that turned things around
for me. I was infuriated and in shock. Deep down,
however, he was right. Here was a man who fought in WWII,
was scrappy enough to be self educated and a most articulate
and eloquent writer. I was his last hope. He dreamed
that I would become a journalist or anchor woman, but felt
that I had squandered my chances. I was 37, single and
pregnant.
With the
aid of some really wonderful people, and, yes, they do
exist, I kept my daughter. I worked full time during the
day as a photographer taking pictures of children and at night
went to photography school. Every thing was fine, until
one night when I felt water running down my leg. I drove
myself to the hospital, terrified by the prospect of giving birth
at seven months, but Tristan was born and whisked away to NICU.
One week
later, I remember changing her diaper and seeing blood
in her stool. All of a sudden, it seemed, there were doctors
and nurses moving about at a fairly rapid pace, X-rays, prodding,
and the looks of sympathy. I moved through this surreal
experience in a trance. The doctor exclaimed what a dreaded
disease she had, not easily fixable, but that the mortality rate
was going down. The WHAT?
Days passed:
two discovered heart defects, and an operation on her
small intestines. In isolation she lay for weeks, until
the time came when the doctors decided she would have a chance.
After enough observation of her stoma, what was left was sewn
back together. But it doesn't stop; it may never stop for
my dear Tristan. A dozen or so hospital visits, over 400
days in the hospital, liver disease and gall stones.
Tristan
is my motivation, my muse, my drive to excel. Because
of her I was determined to return to the halogen halls of academia.
I kept thinking, "I can do this.?" It's as though every
road block of my future was being knocked down! I returned
to the same institution that I left 20 years before to complete
something that meant so much more to me now. I was so hungry
to learn!
I started
off slow, at night. Straight A's. Wow.
I switched to days and put Tristan in daycare. One and
a half years later, she was well enough to function without watching
her every move every minute. Now, at two years, Tristan
is thriving. So am I. I began writing for a monthly
magazine dedicated to single mothers. I am a full time
student and looking to start a sorority for single mothrs at
the Universiy I attend. I am not exactly sure where this road
I took is going. And that's fine for now. It has
turned me into a sympathetic, kind, nurturing, and yet tenacious,
intense, woman. And that's fine for me. I'll always remember
that fork in the road. I never want to forget it.
It is my constant reminder of how far I've come and what I can
accomplish if I pave my road with good intentions.-----------Michele
Johnson
 Michele Johnson is a full-time student at
the University of South Alabama majoring in Arts and Sciences.
She is a writer and sales exec for a monthly magazine called
"The Single Mother".
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