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Volume 1 Issue 2:
Summer, 2007 copyright by College
Mom Magazine and Katherine Arnoldi.
All illustrations on this site are by Katherine Arnoldi. |
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Sheketta Brown
and Son: Two proud graduates
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College Mom Magazine
Feature:
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Life As a Single Mother and a College Student
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by SHEKETTA BROWN
I was a twenty
year old college junior when
I found out I was pregnant with my son. The feeling was
overwhelming! I had so many plans for my life before I
had planned to start a family. Everyone was suggesting
that I abort the baby because I was only two years away from
pharmacy school. I've always been a studious person who
didn't mind burning the "midnight oil" so that I could
stay on top. Despite all of the discouraging and negative
advice and comments I received about my pregnancy, I decided
to keep my baby. The father quickly made himself non-existent
when he gave me the ultimatum of choosing him or our child.
Of course, I chose my son. I went through my nine months
of pregnancy without him and I've been raising my son alone ever
since.
-------- In the beginning it was so difficult for
me.
I was so used to studying all the time and doing my school work
while maintaining a job with no problem. Things immediately changed
after I had my son. I stayed in my hometown around family
until he was about eight months old. In January 2001, I
decided to return to school and live in on-campus family housing.
When I first returned to school, I had difficulty finding a babysitter.
He was on the child care voucher while I was living at home with
family and it didn't transfer as quickly as I had assumed it
would. Therefore, in the beginning the full price of daycare
was on me. I was a chemistry major working anywhere from
20-35 hours a week, sometimes more if my class schedule permitted.
Now I had a car note, daycare, maxed out credit cards and a precious
child dependent upon me. His biological father refused
to help me financially in any way. I put child support
on him and he refused to give up any information needed so that
his son could start to receive his benefits. Unfortunately,
it took two years before we ever received the first child support
check.
The financial burdens alone
were enough to stress me out. When
my son was eleven months old, he had his first seizure.
Little did I know, this was the beginning of his epileptic diagnosis,
along with chronic ear infections and chronic bronchitis which
elevated to RSV (respiratory syncytial virus). Every month
for about six months he'd have a seizure and every three weeks
or so we'd visit his pediatrician for ear infections and wheezing.
He spent his first birthday and his first two Christmas holidays
in the hospital for wheezing, pneumonia and RSV, respectively.
All of this took a toll on my education, but I was determined
to get my degree at all cost. Since my grades dropped tremendously,
I had to change my major. The chemistry curriculum was
too rigorous for me due to my priority of being a mother taking
precedence over everything else.
Thank God my child care voucher finally came through, and my son was
placed on medication for his seizures and his chronic bronchitis.
Things began to be a little less stressful for me and I was able
to go through school another year. The medications didn't
stop the seizures and the wheezing attacks, it just managed it
more. He continued to have seizures and would wheeze whenever
he caught a cold. Friends would volunteer in between their
class times to sit with him so that I wouldn't endure another
semester like my previous semester with him. Despite all
of their help, once again my grades suffered. As a result,
I decided to withdraw from school, resign from my job and move
out of state. My son was now two years old and I was thirty
hours away from having a degree.
The struggle continued for
us in a new state because I had
no degree meaning lower paying jobs, his father still hadn't
paid child support and the cost of living was a whole lot higher.
I lived with an aunt and uncle and had three jobs to try and
make ends meet. All of this cost me quality time with my
son. After about three months of being in our new location,
he finally received his first child support check. This
helped a little but not much because daycare was so much higher,
and once again we were without a voucher. My grandmother
found out about my struggles and decided to intervene.
She volunteered to keep my son for the next two semesters so
that I could focus on school and graduate with a respectable
GPA. Reluctant to do so, I decided to let him live with
her and my sisters while I completed school.
I moved back to Mississippi
and found housing ten times better
off campus! I went home two weekends a month to visit my
son and often brought him back to school with me for two to three
weeks. He attended some classes with me and stayed with
friends once again so that I wouldn't have to miss class.
His voucher was renewed that summer so I was able to put him
in an even better daycare as well! He moved back home in
July 2003 and I graduated in August 2003 with a Bachelor of Science
in Biological Sciences! He hasn't had a seizure or been
admitted to the hospital since he was three years old.
Now I'm back in school completing my pre-requisites for application
into pharmacy school and he's in the first grade.
It has been a journey, but
it was well worth it. I'm still a single mother managing
life well. My son and I are so blessed and continue our
journey as I seek a higher degree.
----------------Sheketta
Brown
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